Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Me, Memnoch and Gutsy.

Sorry about the late post, but me and my split lip were busy vomiting and laying down.
Split lip? Oh yes, that is exactly what I have.
I was at kickboxing this morning, well wait, let me start again, firstly I was out gallavanting about last night until all hours with French Gay, some of the Italians and more than one guy called Steve. There were cocktails and so on. It was Tuesday, what was I thinking?
I came home late,('bout 5) woke up hungover, didn't eat anything, hurried to kickboxing and this was the day Memnoch, who is a total and utter heartless bastard by the way, decided to do some conditioning training because according to him we are 'getting lazy and soft.'
Well half way throught my tenth lap of the gym I puked, no warning no nothing, I just vomited.
I won't bore you all with the details, but after I cleaned it up a disgusted Memnoch started lecturing us all on the 'temple' that is our bodies, and that if we 'abuse the temple' the 'temple' will fall. Then the stupid psycho made us spar and he chose me to demonstrate some moves. So after holding up the focus pads for what seemed like an age, my arms trembling with exertion, I mistakenly thought he had called switch. So I dropped my left pad and WAP!! I got suckerpunched in the mouth.
Hence the lip.
And also I was sick again. And yes, that might be sissy and girlie and whatever else anyone wants to say about it, but that's what happens to me when I can't see straight and my pain threshold has been breached. I puke.
Then Memnoch lectured me soome more and told me to go home.
So here I am, home, bloodied, beaten, feeling miserable and totally disgusted with myself. I'm going off the booze for a while too, at least until I can get back to the shape I was in a few months back. Very down. And I'm never like that. Very sore too. Although I've been like that before.
Most miserable.

25 Comments:

Anonymous eva said...

Aoch!
See, this is proof sports is nothing but bad for you - makes you feel crap physically and mentally!
I say a big stiff drink to make the world a brighter place!

2:37 p.m.  
Blogger Andraste said...

Poor lamb! Still, you showed tremendous discipline in even GOING to kickboxing after a night/morning like that. A+ for effort!

3:00 p.m.  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Memnoch should have told you to sit out after you vomitted the first time and certainly not made you spar.

Is the man a sadist? The pure-of-body often are.

Go and get yourself a good book, curl up with Puddy, and when you return from book-land things might seem much better, sweetie-pie.

Sorry you're feeling blue, fmc. Never mind the puking. Happens to the best of us, especially if our temples have been assaulted.

Memnoch sounds like he needs a drink.

3:04 p.m.  
Blogger Dr Maroon said...

This Memnoch fellow. Whereabouts would a chap like that stay now? Don’t concern yourself, I’m only asking because I’m nosey. I wouldn’t want anything to happen to the lad or anything like that. A wee talk, that’s all. I mean he’s not going to fall all the way up the stairs or anything.

3:25 p.m.  
Blogger KnackeredKaz said...

Eh so you were sick, then he punched you and then HE gave YOU a lecture?

Sue him.

Or at least send him a fake solicitor's letter! Ah I've had many a laugh with the oul fake letters meself!

3:44 p.m.  
Blogger Twenty Major said...

What are you going to do, Doc?

Play him KT Tunstall's CD till he begs for mercy?

3:46 p.m.  
Blogger Dr Maroon said...

I might.
I thought you were hors de combat anyway.
If you were a man at all you'd sort the bugger out. You're nearer.

3:51 p.m.  
Blogger Dr Maroon said...

It went in twice. My finger musta been shaking.

3:55 p.m.  
Blogger Kim Ayres said...

You're sounding... almost...

...cough...

...humbled...

...cough...

gosh.

4:46 p.m.  
Blogger Twenty Major said...

If you were a man at all you'd sort the bugger out. You're nearer.

I have a hangover though.

4:51 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Thanks for the concern y'all, but really it's my own fault for farting around half the night and then expecting to get away with it. Ye reap ye bloomin' sow.
Lip is swollen and split but the painkillers have well and truly kicked in now so I don't feel quite as sore, still feeling dowm in the dumps though. Guess getting knocked on your arse and vomiting on yourself in front of a class of people will do that to a gal.
Sam, he is an absolute lunatic, doesn't drink, doesn't smoke doesn't eat crap, follows the warrior diet, deasn't really like teaching women but is stuck with us because we haven't cracked yet and is totally commited to his way of life and cannot understand why everyone is not the same.
I'm hating him today.

5:56 p.m.  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Boys, boys, there's no need for fisticuffs, and besides, he teaches KICKboxing. Things might degrade to footsiecuffs pretty quickly.

I think you should spike his wheatgrass and spirulena shake with a wee tot of something, fmc. See what a bit of mental oiling and relaxing would do for him. It might be the best thing anyone's done for him and at least it would make class more interesting.

Or it might just piss him off. Teeheeheehee.

10:27 p.m.  
Blogger fatmammycat said...

Snarf. I'm injoying that image, I'm also a bit trollieeeeed. Painkillers. Hee, but no booze.

11:15 p.m.  
Blogger Twenty Major said...

Snarf. I'm injoying that image, I'm also a bit trollieeeeed. Painkillers. Hee, but no booze.

We're not falling for that you humbled wench.

11:18 p.m.  
Anonymous Cate said...

Sorry you're down FMC, the dhrink is desperate for bringing on the blues but I have to say that is the funniest story I've read in a while. Thanks for the chuckle. Where in the name of god did you find the energy to get up let alone go kick boxing after a night like that. You're gas!

11:50 a.m.  
Blogger EmmaK said...

I take my hat off you for managing to go to that class at all. I wouldn't have been able to walk in a straight line, let alone do kickboxing. I think Memnoch was a little hard on you. Take it easy today won't you?

2:39 p.m.  
Blogger Dr Maroon said...

I do hope you're all right. The lip, I hope will mend. I'm more worried about you swearing off the drink with a holiday weekend coming up.

Sending good vibes.

6:30 p.m.  
Blogger Dr Maroon said...

I do hope you're all right. The lip, I hope will mend. I'm more worried about you swearing off the drink with a holiday weekend coming up.

Sending good vibes.

6:30 p.m.  
Blogger Willie_W said...

Sounds like Memnoch's ideas of temple seem to come from the Indiana Jones school of philosphy.

Don't worry.... you'll get over the vow of abstinence. I always do.

7:56 p.m.  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Hope you're feeling better today, fmc.

And as Doccles said, I hope all your vibrations this weekend are good ones...

11:19 p.m.  
Blogger LindyK said...

Poor kitten. Sounds like you should have been sick -- on Memnoch. That would've taught him to sucker punch you.

5:27 a.m.  
Anonymous Holy Joseph of Ballinasloe said...

Like you blog FMC. Need some info. Thought you might know. Male ignorance here. Question: If a woman describes herself as smallish,large bosomed and size 14-16, does that mean she is essentially spherical? There's a good reason why I need to know this and galloping mysogyny barely comes into it. If at all.
I think I know your mother from when I was the teaboy in the Legion of Mary special elite unit.

11:46 a.m.  
Anonymous two sheds jackson said...

FMC - I reckon just before your next lesson you need to gorge on a curry or a kebab then down half a pint of salt water. At the start of the lesson stand very close to that sadist, very close indeed, and hurl all over his stupid sodding temple!

Hope your lip feels better - I once dislocated my thumb by kicking myself in a kickboxing lesson - dangerous pass-time methinks.

7:13 p.m.  
Blogger Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Hope you're feeling better, sweetie-pie.

How's the move coming along? Have you got the keys yet?

10:20 p.m.  
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2:43 a.m.  

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